FAYETTEVILLE (WTVD) --Cindy Racine is speaking out for the first time about her rocky two-and-a-half-year relationship with her daughter's father, Anthony Macneill.
Macneill shot and killed Racine's father, Eugene, on Aug. 28 at the victim's home.
Cindy Racine says she can't shake the images of seeing her father murdered. She says her relationship with the suspect was trouble from the start.
"It was crazy. It was just a big ball of crazy," she told ABC11.
"It was a ride to hell. Hell and back." Cindy Racine on her love affair w/ the man who confessed to killing her dad pic.twitter.com/QuR9sbgHLC— Tim Pulliam (@TimABC11) September 8, 2016
Racine says Macneill was physically abusive and struggled with drug addiction.
"Every time he would disappear, I would usually call my sister crying, not understanding why I keep putting myself through this," she said.
Last month, Cindy says Macneill refused to accept the relationship was over and threatened to harm her. She filed a restraining order.
Her father, Eugene, urged his daughter to leave home and stay with a friend. She was reluctant.
"When you are leaving your house and you know someone is probably coming after you, you're worried about your family," Racine said .
WATCH: More from Tim Pulliam's interview with Cindy Racine
So she came back. Just two hours into her return, Cindy says she heard gunshots from outside her bedroom.
"I opened my window and seen Anthony running down that road. I screamed at him. I was angry and I called the cops."
While on the phone with the 911 operator, Racine says she found her father lying by the patio suffering from gunshot wounds.
That morning, Aug. 28, Macneill posted on Facebook that he killed someone, and threatened to hurt himself. Racine says she also received a text from Macneill blaming her for the shooting.
"I was still in shock for my father. I just wanted him dead," Racine said.
Last week, on Aug. 31, Cumberland County Sheriff's deputies found Macneill's body just a few blocks from Racine's home.
Investigators said they think he shot himself on the same day he is believed to have shot Eugene Racine.
Cindy Racine says law enforcement and the justice system failed to protect her family.
The sheriff's office said it suggested that the Racine family leave their home.
That decision to stay ended Eugene's life - leaving Cindy to raise a 16-month-old daughter who now has no grandfather - or father.
"I am not going to tell her. I don't think she needs to know that," Racine said. "Your grandfather passed away. Your dad passed away."
Racine is planning a memorial for her father.
If you know someone who is a victim of abuse in North Carolina call (800) 799-SAFE
In Cumberland County, the CARE Center for Family Violence Prevention is located at:
1225 Ramsey St. in Fayetteville. The phone number is (910)677-2528.
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