That's Travis Barker reflecting on his life in the trailer for his new documentary, "Travis Barker: Louder Than Fear."
The documentary details Barker's iconic rise to fame after stepping in as a replacement drummer for Blink-182 and his addiction to painkillers (he says in the trailer that he was taking so many pills he had a security guard whose only job was to watch him sleep and make sure he was breathing).
Barker also recounts the 2008 plane crash that killed his assistant Chris "Lil Chris" Baker and bodyguard Charles "Che" Still, along with the pilot and co-pilot. Barker and Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein survived but were badly burned. A year later, Goldstein was found dead in his New York City apartment.
In the trailer, Barker said the experience had him asking himself important questions.
"Why am I here when everyone else isn't?"
"I had to ask myself who I was going to be after this accident."
He says he was determined to become the best person and father he could be.
The film also features Barker's wife, Kourtney Kardashian and his kids, Landon, Alabama and Atiana.
"Travis Barker: Louder Than Fear" premieres August 13 on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.
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