What will Grayson Allen learn from his suspension? Here's some advice

Grayson Allen is going to get some unexpected time to sit and think. That's one more thing he and I now share in common.

Having both played basketball for the Duke Blue Devils, we have heard and felt it all along the way -- from criticism and hate to adulation and praise. And boy, do I know the pressure he feels, being that high-profile Duke guard likely bound for the NBA in just a few months. We could both tell you, in no uncertain terms, from the moment you received a recruiting visit from Coach K, you knew the expectations associated with his program. You understood very quickly that it was your inherent responsibility to be the best version of yourself from that moment forward. But clearly that doesn't guarantee against momentary lapses in judgment along the way, especially when you are a young man still in the process of discovering who you really are.

It's public knowledge that I felt strongly that Grayson needed much more accountability than just a required apology after his third tripping transgression, this latest one coming Wednesday night in the first half against Elon. His inability to suppress his need to trip an opponent at times out of on-court frustration -- not once or twice, but three times in the span of a calendar year -- demanded serious discipline. On Thursday morning, that "much more" arrived. Coach K has suspended him indefinitely for what were totally unacceptable on-court antics.

When I was at Duke, Coach K relentlessly reminded us that we could never hide from our actions. And he never let me forget that fact even when he was the first to visit me after my immature decision landed me in the hospital after a motorcycle accident, one that for all intents and purposes ended what I am confident would have been a solid, 15-year NBA career. His message was that taking accountability would set us free -- free to become the best possible human beings we could be.

Yes, I have had lots of time to sit and think -- quite literally years to sit and think. There's no shortage of time to reflect when you are undergoing 13 post-accident surgeries. But as I have shared publicly, the worst decision I ever made became the best thing that ever happened to me. It can be the same way for Grayson Allen, and with a whole lot fewer consequences than I experienced.

You learn what it is like to not be able to play the game that you love, not being there to compete with your teammates. That you are unable to share common goals because you lack the actual opportunity to see them through causes indescribable frustration and pain. Nothing hurts more than realizing that you are in street clothes because of your selfish decisions. Not even the physical pain of a devastating motorcycle accident can compare.

Coach K reminded us, every day, of his expectations and of the standard of excellence he assigned not only to Duke basketball, but, more importantly, to everyday life. I'm not exactly sure why he didn't have Grayson sit and think after incident No. 2 this past February. The Coach K who I played for would have held us much more accountable at that moment. Anything less would have undermined that standard of excellence he consistently preached. I am not exactly certain whether Grayson will ultimately recognize that nothing -- not a thunderous dunk nor a zillion-decibel roar from the Cameron Crazies -- is more powerful than a forced period of reflection. I sure hope he does. I only wish that my time to reflect would have lasted a matter of days or weeks instead of ending my career. That extended unwanted time to ponder all the Coach K-isms that he openly shared over the years with all of his Duke and Team USA players has paid me dividends I never could have expected on that first day I was forced to sit and think. Actually, in my case, it came that first day when I was strapped down in a hospital bed with nothing but time to contemplate the consequences of my actions.

My advice to Grayson is simple: Don't let this time away from the game slow you. Let it be the defining moment, as it was for me, when you truly realize that although we can't hide from our actions, we can certainly learn from them. The remainder of your time as a student-athlete, your entire NBA career, and more importantly, the rest of your life will be so much more satisfying for it. That lesson is one more thing I hope we share going forward.