More Than a Hashtag: The evolution of Black love

DURHAM, N..C. (WTVD) -- On a small ranch in Durham called Green Water Pastures and Still Waters Barn, you may find what some would call #BlackLove.

But the couple who owns it would settle for you calling themselves Brenda and Robert Brown.

"We've been married 18 years. Been 19. In October," said Robert Brown.

Theirs is a love story that started with very clear intentions

"I said, well, I'm gonna tell you right now, if you come down this road, ain't no turning back. And that night we went out, and we've been together ever since," Brenda Brown said.

And Robert knew what he wanted.

"She was, she was correct in everything she said. And, I also was looking for someone that, that I could love, that I could trust, and that I could move forward with and build a life with," he said.

But their love story sits inside a larger one.

According to the latest U.S. Census data, about 30% of Black adults nationwide are married.

It's the lowest share among major racial groups.

That number has hovered around that mark in recent years.

Scroll social media, and you'll see the hashtag #BlackLove, polished photos, wedding reels, matching outfits.

But for the couples living it, Black love isn't measured in percentages or posts.

"Young people, when I talk to them and work with them, you know, as customers, there are clients, they'll say, I really am prioritizing my mental health, being, you know, being able to focus on my personal growth and my career growth," said relationship expert Elizabeth Overstreet.

For some, that means taking their time. For others, like Jared Lee, he knew right away he wanted to marry his new wife of six months, Ali Lee

But they didn't rush the moment.

"You have those conversations before you decide to take that next step of like, what happens if I lose my job? What happens if you lose your job?" he said.

They're choosing carefully in a world that moves quickly.

"Obviously, the attention span is short, but also, like the world is your oyster at this point. You can meet anyone at any time, and then you have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)," said Ali Lee of the state of dating in the modern world.

And where advice is everywhere.

"There's so much information out there, and it's not all necessarily, you know, information that's probably right for you," she added.

So Black marriage isn't vanishing, it's evolving.

"There was a time we weren't allowed to do this, and that's why it's so important that we join our lives and we commit so that we can pass down our legacy the way that it always should have been," Ali said. "We had an interruption, and now we're resuming."

Resuming after generations where marriage wasn't always protected or recognized.

And reminding a new generation what it means.

"In a nutshell, I think marriage represents oneness. I believe that marriage represents for us, in particular, faith, family, and community rolled up all into one," said Robert Brown.

Jared Lee added, "I stay because I want to be with her for all facets of life."

"I stay because there's nobody else I'd be wanting to do it with. So this is either him or nobody," said Ali Lee.

Brenda Brown put it this way.

"I love him because he looks out for me. Things that I don't even think I want. He provides for me. So for me, that makes me see that he's concerned about my well-being. So I love that about him," she said.

Thirty percent is a number.

But this is Black love.

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