NEW YORK -- For the first time, the parents of Brian Laundrie, the fiancé of Gabby Petito, have released writings from his personal notebook.
And it contains what appears to be Laundrie's confession to killing Petito.
One of the pages reads in part, quote: "I ended her life. I thought it was merciful, that it is what she wanted, but I see now all the mistakes I made."
The F.B.I. recovered the notebook near his remains in 2021 in Florida.
The Laundrie family's attorney, Steve Bertolino, released the following statement along with the documents.
Today the Petito family attorney, Patrick Reilly, and myself met with the FBI in Tampa to sort through and take possession of the personal items that belonged to Gabby and Brian. This was a previously agreed upon exchange to enable both the Petitos and the Laundries to receive what belonged to their respective children. As part of this return of property in FBI custody I was given Brian's notebook. I would like to share with the public the note that the FBI alluded to when they said on January 21, 2022 that Brian claimed responsibility for the death of Gabby Petito. Although I have chosen to release this letter as a matter of transparency I will not be commenting further as there are still proceedings pending in Court. These are Brian's words:
Here is a transcription of the diaries provided by ABC News
I wish I was right at your side. I wish I could be talking to you right now. I'd be going through every memory we made, getting even more excited for the future. But we've lost our future. I can't live without you. I've lost every day we could've spent together. Every morning. I'll never get to play with (illegible) again. Never go hiking with TJ. I loved you more than anything. I can't bear to look at our photos, to recall great times because it is why I cannot go on. When I close my eyes, I will think of laying on the roof of the van, falling asleep to the sight of a (illegible) at the crystal geyser. I will always love you.
If you were reading Gab's journal, looking at photos from our life together, flipping through old cards, you wouldn't want to live a day without her. Knowing that every day you'll wake up without her, you wouldn't want to wake up. I'm sorry to everyone this will affect. Gabby was the love of my life, but I know (illegible) by many. I'm so very sorry to her family, because I love them. I'd consider her younger siblings my best of friends. I am sorry to my family, this is a shock to them as well as a terrible grief.
They loved as much, if not more than me. A new daughter to my mother, an aunt to my nephews. Please do not make this harder for them. This (illegible) as an unexpected tragedy. Rushing back to our car trying to cross the steams of (illegible) before it got too dark to see, too cold. I hear a splash and a scream. I could hardly see. I couldn't find her for a moment, shouted her name. I found her breathing (illegible) gasping my (two lines here too smudged to read) the blazing hot National Parks...
...in Utah. The temperature had dropped to freezing and she was soaking wet. I carried her as far as I could down the stream towards the car, stumbling, exhausted, in shock, when my (illegible) and knew I couldn't safely carry her. I started a fire and spooned her as close to the heat, she was so thing, had already been freezing too long. I couldn't at the time realize that I should've started a fire first but I wanted her out of the cold back to the car. From where I started the fire, I had no idea how far the car might be. Only...
...knew it was across the creek. When I pulled Gabby out of the water she couldn't tell me what hurt. She had a small lump on her forehead that eventually got larger. Her feet hurt, her wrist hurt but she was freezing, shaking violently. While carrying her, she continually made sounds of pain. Laying next to her, she said little, lapsing between violent shakes, gasping in pain, begging for an end to her pain. She would fall asleep and I would shake her awake fearing she shouldn't close her eyes if she had a concussion.
She would wake in pain, start her whole painful cycle again while furious that I was the one waking her. She wouldn't let me try to cross the creek, thought like me that the fire would go out in her sleep and she'd freeze. I don't know the extent of Gabby's injuries, only that she was in extreme pain. I ended her life. I thought it was merciful, that it is what she wanted, but I see now all the mistakes I made. I (illegible)., I was in shock. But from the moment I decided, took away her pain, I couldn't go on without her.
I rushed home to spend any time I had left with my family. I wanted to drive north and let James or TJ kill me but I wouldn't want them to spend time in jail over my mistake, even though I'm sure they would have liked to. I amending my life not because of a fear of punishment but rather because I can't stand to live another day without her. I've lost our whole future together, every moment we could have cherished. I'm sorry for everyone's loss. Please do not make life harder for my family, they lost a son and a daughter. The most beautiful girl in the world, Gabby, I'm sorry.
I have killed myself by this creek in the hopes that animals may tear me apart. That it may make some of her family happy.
Please pick up all of my things. Gabby hated people who litter.
On Wednesday, lawyers for both families faced off in a Florida courtroom in regards to a civil lawsuit filed three months ago by the Petito family against the Laundries.