Romance scams surge ahead of Valentine's Day

DURHAM, N.C. (WTVD) -- With Valentine's Day just days away, many people searching for love online are instead finding themselves targeted by scammers.

Why romance scams are harder to spot

Romance scams often begin innocently through social media, online games, or dating apps. What makes these scams especially effective now is technology.

"It's getting very, very hard to detect when it is a scam," says Brian Long, an AI scam expert and CEO of Adaptive Security. Long says artificial intelligence allows scammers to create highly personalized messages almost instantly.

"In the past, you would have to do a whole bunch of research on your own to figure out, you know, who you are and what sort of things I can say to you in order to build this relationship. You know, now the A.I. can do all that work for the individual, and I can have a really, you know, personal, thoughtful, you know, heart-wrenching message sent to you that's, you know, two pages long. But in reality, the way I made that message and, you know, just a couple of seconds," Long said.

Scammers are also playing the long game. Long says fraudsters may spend six months, nine months, or even a year building trust before ever asking for money. "Once they've taken a year and you feel like you're really friends and you've really built up this relationship, that's when they ask for money," Long added.

The biggest red flags

The most important warning sign: being asked for money.

Requests often come disguised as medical emergencies, unexpected expenses, or even investment opportunities. Experts say it's always a scam if someone asks you to:

• Buy gift cards
• Send cryptocurrency
• Transfer money between accounts

Scammers may also avoid meeting in person, claim to live overseas or be in the military, or rush emotional commitments -- saying "I love you" or talking about a future together very quickly.

BBB warning signs to watch for

The Better Business Bureau warns consumers to be cautious of online "partners" who:

• Offer to help grow your finances or introduce cryptocurrency investments
• Seem too perfect, using attractive photos and stories of financial success
• Push to move conversations off dating apps quickly
• Emphasize trust as a way to manipulate victims
• Share hardluck stories to gain sympathy
• Avoid meeting in person and always have an excuse
• Use overly flowery language or suspicious grammar

Investment and cryptocurrency scams are especially concerning. BBB reports that more than 26% of investment scams begin with a fake romantic relationship.

"As people search for a Valentine or life partner, be wary of those you find online," warns Mallory Wojciechowski, President and CEO of BBB Eastern Carolinas. "Scammers will play with your emotions to get personal and financial information from you."

Using AI to fight back

Experts say consumers should consider using AI tools to help spot scams.

"I think you need to fight AI with AI," Long said. "Ask it how skeptical you should be about a situation."

If you're unsure about an online conversation, you can copy and paste messages into AI tools such as ChatGPT or Google Gemini and ask whether the interaction shows signs of a scam.

One final warning

Technology now allows scammers to imitate voices and even create convincing videos. That means phone calls and video chats can still be fake, even if they look and sound real.

If something feels off, trust your instincts. And remember, real love will never ask for gift cards, crypto, or your bank information.

Stay on top of breaking news stories with the ABC11 News App